Tyler and Peter

Twenty eight years ago, it seemed almost unthinkable to us that two guys with special needs could ever share an apartment together and live independently.  At that time we asked ourselves "where do we go from here" as the families of newborns with special needs.  Our pediatricians started us on the path by sending us to the A.I. DuPont Institute where Peter Arnold and Tyler Kennedy met on the exercise mat in the early intervention program.  Moms, Jill Kennedy and Becky Arnold formed a strong friendship together as well as with the other parents.  Occupational, physical and speech therapy gave our boys the skills and strength to continue their early education at the Bush School together. 

From there, their paths diverged to different schools districts.  Tyler stayed in the Brandywine District and Peter went into Red Clay, but their friendship continued.  Both families kept in touch and together tried to provide opportunities for socialization with the boys' peers.  Thanks to Special Olympics, the Delaware Theater Company (Totally Awesome Kids), Camp Barnes and the Blue Gold All Star Football Game, many occasions for reconnecting came about. 

Interestingly enough, both Peter and Tyler have brothers similar in ages, although Peter has an extra one!  All of the brothers looked at the boys' positives rather than any negatives, thus accepting each of them as "one of the guys." 

After graduating from high school, Tyler from Delcastle and Peter from Dickinson, they were fortunate to be hired by MBNA.  They are still there, although now it is Bank of America, where they are Support Service Associates. Their jobs have required them to do data entry, fulfillment, stocking and graphic arts. 

They remain active with many of the things that brought them together, and have added others independently as they have matured.  So, realizing that living independently was not going to happen easily, Jill and Becky set out to help make it happen.  They talked to both Tyler and Peter about what they wanted, discussed what was possible with the families and began to gather information from every where they could.  There were many who were supportive, but no one had concrete suggestions for aid.

Eventually Jill and Becky, with their husbands Gerry and Tim, realized that Tyler and Peter were capable of living independently and what supports that were needed existed within the families. 

A suitable apartment was located, convenient to transportation, shopping and other activities.  Furnishings were purchased or obtained from families as can happen with anyone when they start out.  Tyler and Peter moved in March and quickly settled into their new "digs".  It has been more challenging for the families than for the new apartment dwellers.  Once a month, parents and roommates get together for dinner just to "check in" on how everything is going.  This is also the time bills get paid and calendars coordinated.  Grocery shopping happens about twice a month (these guys are pretty easy to please when it comes to food!)  Saturday is cleaning and laundry day and they do a good job of both.  As parents, we are so glad we took this leap of faith. Our belief that this was the right path to follow is reinforced when we see how happy they are and how capable they have become at being in charge of their own "world!"

Twenty eight years ago, this seemed an almost impossible goal.  Now it is a reality that came about because of all the work so many have done to make education, work and independence possible.